Hello,
This story began thirty years ago in a household far, far away. They were newly married, and the beautiful young bride requested that her freshly minted husband take out the trash. The newly faithful husband grabbed the full plastic bag, hiked from the north side of the building, and down a flight of steps to the south exit. The long trudge through the parking lot did not deter the young lover’s eagerness to help.
Twenty-four hours later, the same pretty wife told her dutiful husband the trash was full once more. This struck the newly married man strangely since, spending many years living alone, the garbage in the house never needed emptying within the same week, let alone the next day. He thought, “She must have done a deep clean.”
He gathered the top of the bag and lifted it from the can. The pull was expecting the weight from a full bag. Because of the absence of mass, the bag almost hit the ceiling. The newlywed husband examined the bag and noticed a large cereal box upright in the bottom and a smaller pasta box teed on top, with one day's worth of regular trash holding it together. The bag was full as being filled to the top, but it could have held much more.
Five years later, the young loving couple moved into their first house. Trash removal had been determined to be the loyal husband’s job. He saw it full one night and took it to their lone trash can. Two people don’t need but one trashcan to go to the street. However, it was packed with two more days before trash day. He removed the small bag that came from a bathroom, and a large box was nestled halfway into the canister. He broke down the box and fit all the garbage into our can with plenty of room to spare.
Today, the beautiful wife piles the boxes on a counter for the “Magic Box Fairy” to break them down and throw them into the recycling bin. Please note that the bins sit just two steps out the back door. However, that would break the “Magic Box Fairy’s” heart if she put the boxes in the bin.
For thirty years, I thought this strange behavior of not breaking down boxes was just a plague set upon me by my loving wife. Then, I started watching FaceBook Reels. This week, a guy showed boxes piled up by the recycling bin. Another video showed a different man facing boxes piled on an empty bin. A third in a week, a woman taught her daughter that the boxes get piled up just outside the door to the garage.
I am not the lone “Magic Box Fairy” in this world. There should be a club or a union for men to gather and commiserate on our role in the house run by women.
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God bless,
Danny Mac
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